Okay, here goes nothing! I'm hoping this blog can be something we can trade advice and fun stuff. I am certainly no expert at blogging and I hope anyone who has better ideas on how this thing should work will chime in. I am thinking we can all do posts with questions we have and then if people have answers they can put them in the comments section. If we label the posts like "Discipline" or "Food" or "How Fabulous Kari is" then if we have a question we can look through posts with similar labels to see if it has been asked yet.
So here is my first post. Jackson is getting close to 2 (in December, how time flies!) and is harder to control. All in all, he is a good kid but sometimes he runs crazy around my visiting teachee's house and doesn't stop when I ask him to and church is hard because he doesn't sit when we ask him to. What I am wondering is should I expect him to understand and do what I ask or am I ahead of myself? Any ideas on how to have him listen better to me?
Again, this is a work in progress so please feel free to comment on how to make it better. Or just make it better yourselves! All of you should have the ability to change the blog around, just let us know what you do and how to use it if you change things.
6 comments:
I think he's getting old enough to not be able to do whatever he wants to do.
What we do (or at least try to do- it's hard to always be consistent- but that's the goal) for example- in sacrament meeting the kids are expected to sit quietly until after the sacrament. We let C look at books because he's too little to sit doing nothing- but then after the sacrament if they've been reverent they can get out the fruit snacks and church bag with the books and crayons.
If they have a tantrum, we take them out and sit them on our lap and they are not allowed to get down. The first couple of times this happens there is much screaming, and we've had to go outside- but they can't get down. It helps to know some good restraining positions so no one gets hurt. :)
Eventually they learn they have to obey. (we've also told the kids if they are not reverent during the sacrament that they can't play with the church bag stuff after the sacrament.
Long post- my the summary- if you don't want him running around. Make him stop. He's still little enough that you can pick him up and hold him on your lap. If you have to go home because he's being too loud, then say sorry to the VT people and excuse yourself. One missed VT appointment is not so bad in the long run if he learns he has to obey.
(also take plenty of things to keep him busy- crayons, coloring books, whatever. It helps to have some "special" toys that he can only play with during things like)
That should end- "things like that".
Oh also- if you have to leave somewhere because he's having a tantrum- make sure he gets a time out or something when you get home. He's learning what his boundaries are and what consequences are for not obeying.
Of course, this is just what I do- I don't mean to be telling you that this is the only solution. We should have that as a disclaimer for all posts.
I agree with Allie on this. The biggest thing I have to do is tell them my expectation (I would like you to sit and color and no running around) and tell them why (we don't run in other people's houses) and tell them what will happen if they disobey (if you run away, you will have time out) or conversely, obey (if you can do this, you'll get to put a sticker on your chart). This also helps me to clarify my point without getting emotionally involved. As Allie said, the key is consistency. And a reward system/incentive is always good too, although my kids also respond well to loss of privilages.
We do pretty good in church. We're still working on behaving in the store and restaurants.
I agree with all of the above. My kids (the older ones) respond well to privilges being taken away.
Necia, however is at the same stage as Jackson. Having older kids around is proving to make her behaviors harder. ( "They get to go up and down the stairs, why can't I?" "I want to play that game with you/ knock it over")
We haven't tackled acceptable church behavior with her yet. She still pretty much gets to do what she wants for now (again wanting to do whatever the other kids are doing, except in her own way like biting the crayon into small pieces vs coloring with them) I think 18 months is our target for jumping on her behavior. At least then it will only be sacrament we are trying to control, not all 3 hours.
Cognitively I don't think she can make all the connections (misbehavior=consequence) quite yet. Hopefully it is coming. I would really like to do something about her screaming. It is her way to say just about everything. Any help with that would be great!
Lacey- Collin likes to scream too- especially in the van. When Jack did the same thing I would not look at him, but say so he could hear me, "say mama", then as soon as he said mama, I'd look at him and give him attention.
I think sometimes the screaming is for attention, and sometimes it's for trying out what their bodies are capable of.
If she's trying to get attention, just don't give her any until she uses the kind of voice you want her to.
If she's testing her vocal chords, just ignore it. If you make a big deal of it, she'll realize it's a good way to get attention. :)
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